Words Unfiltered: The first time

So I’ll probably do this once a week, but this gonna be a series called words unfiltered. What is it you ask? Well, I don’t know, so let me make it up right now. Words unfiltered will basically just be me doing my writing as usual, but without a focus going into it. I mean, I usually don’t have a focus until I get down and think for a few minutes, unless I decide early on in the day, but this will be more like take a pen and just start writing and don’t edit anything out. So yeah, you get all of my words unfiltered and all.

My stress levels are a bit raised right now. Why? Just living life in general causing stress to go up I suppose, but I hear yelling in the background. I was gonna say something else, but I think I just forgot.* If I didn’t though, I probably just did by now. As you may have noticed, my train of thought gets off topic very fast. I have to write with a focus in mind usually or else all of my writing will be filled with a lot of unexplained things and leave you with a lot of questions. It might be very frustrating.

I believe I just remembered what I was going to tell you all.*** I plan on doing a little mini promotion for my blog soon. Obviously I haven’t had my daily writing up, but I decided to spend some time writing a lot of post ahead of time so that I can schedule a lot of my writing for you all. That way, a lot of the weekly things I have planned will be right on time always, and you all can get good content. If not daily, several times a week, though I aim to do my writing daily. I really need to schedule a lot of things in my life, but I also enjoy the freedom of free time way too much. I’m spontaneous, but schedules help me and I like them. I am two polar opposites, or rather, I am polar on both sides of the spectrum for a lot of things. And I just realized I got way off topic again.****

While…I– well, I was going to get off topic before getting back on topic, but I forgot what I was going to say exactly, so let’s just go with what I was originally going to say! After I say what I was just about to say because, well, I sort of remembered. I really wonder if people will like this because it is a very different (and very confusing) bit of writing. It’s my train of thought that you all are riding the first time it goes on a trip. Not before all of the rocky roads are fixed, though trains don’t ride on roads…

Alas, back to the promotional event. I will print a bunch of QR barcodes linking to my blog and place them at a lot of random bus stops in the city (since I live in Chicago) and hope people find it and actually check it out. I think it’s a good idea, but who knows. I won’t know until I try. I also am working on my about me page. I get very antsy thinking about it. I know that I can always go back and change it, but I also want it to be basically perfect once I do it. I’ll get it over with soon enough.

Life is so, and forgive me for the abrupt change in subject because I usually have smoother transitions, exhilarating (I say as I exhale). There is so much that I want to do and so little time. Really, I know that I don’t do a lot of things because I am always caught up in all the things that I could be doing. I worry a lot, I get anxious, and I just. Well, I’m human. We all have individual personalities made up of a lot of experiences and other things, and I am just being who I am. Slowly but surely I am crafting myself to be the best version of myself that I can be, but we can only strive to be perfected, never perfect.

Wow. I realize that my train of thought is very chaotic. I suppose I actually really like it. I hope you all like it as well. And now, for my finish line? I mean my signature (I have no idea why I called it a finish line).

Until tomorrow, or next time, whichever comes first.

* I do purposely write gonna because I say that when I speak.**

**In case anyone wonders, I do write the foot notes the moment I think the put them there. Not after I finish writing the main body of text.

***I also sometimes say going, and I was about to edit in “sometimes” before the first footnote, but I think that is evident now.

****I should probably call this series ADD writing. I don’t think I have ADD though. At least I hope not.

Katherine

This is a short story of mine that I’m planning on rewriting for small edits. Mainly continuity and setting reasons, but here is the original for you all.

Katherine

She felt for the lock in the dark, terrified of the masked man that she just encountered. “I’ll be seeing you soon. I will kill you…” the words echoed in her mind. After seemingly forever, she managed to get the front door open and she slammed it shut behind her, securing all of the locks. With her back pressed against the door, she let out a sigh of relief. She sat her purse down and switched on the light before heading into the living room.

“Baby I’m home!” She yelled.

Shedding her coat, she sat down on the sofa and reached for the television remote. She noticed a small sticky note stuck to the table and, after turning on the television, read it.

‘I’ll be home late tonight, Katherine. I’m celebrating Chad’s promotion with the guys. Love you, see you soon. -Jason.”

That’s odd. The lady thought to herself. Briefly, the words of the man came back to her.

“Oh I’ll kill your husband too. Sooner than you think, actually…and then you’ll be next.”

She shuddered at the memory and shook the thought out of her head, but she still felt uneasy. Giving into her panic, she grabbed her coat, found her cellphone, and called her husband. He picked up on the third ring.

“Hey babe! What’s up?” He shouted over the music. Relief instantly filled her as she heard her husband’s voice.

“Nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.” She said.

“Hold on a moment….alright. It’s much easier to hear you out here.”

“I said I just wanted to hear your voice baby, that’s all.” She smiled.

“Well I’ll be home soon babe. You’ll get to hear me all night– hey, who are you?”

“Baby?” A thud. “Baby! What’s going on? Can you hear me?”

She heard a scuffle and only caught some of the words being shouted.

“Hey! What the hell is…why are…woah, chill…No!” And then a scream.

“Jason!” She yelled into the phone, and silence followed. “Baby?”

After a few moments, she heard someone pick up the phone.

“Jason is dead darling, and you’re next!” Someone said to her before bursting into a fit of maniacal laughter. “I’ll be seeing you soon.” The killer said before hanging up the phone.

“No…” She whispered in disbelief, dropping her phone onto the ground. “No!”

Terrified, she raced throughout the entire house, checking every single window and making sure each one was locked. With tears in her eyes and her hands trembling, she called 9-1-1 as soon as she felt sure she was safe.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“Help! My h-husband.” She stammered. Suddenly, she heard what sounded like a window breaking upstairs and screamed.

“Ma’am, calm down. Is your husband hurting you?”

“No! H-he’s d-dead! The guy I saw, he killed him.”

“What? Ma’am, I’m sorry but you have to slow down. It’s hard for me to understand you. I know you’re afraid but– hello?”

Katherine dropped the phone and screamed again. Standing in front of her was the man she had seen earlier that night.

“Stay back! I-I-I’ll cut you!” She stammered, slowly backing away into the kitchen, reaching for a knife. She grabbed the biggest one should could find and thrust it forward, stabbing at the air as if it too were dangerous. The mysterious man laughed as he watched her quiver in fear, amused. He glanced down at the phone that the lady had dropped, picked it up, and ended the call before placing it back on the ground. He reached into his coat and pulled out a small pistol.

“Tell you what,” he said, playing carelessly with the gun. “I’ll leave this pistol right here,” he said slowly, placing the gun on the ground in front of him, “and I’ll go hide upstairs.” He slowly backed away from the gun. “The police will probably be here in 15 minutes, but you have 5 minutes to find and kill me. If it takes longer, well…” without warning, the man bolted up the stairs.

The lady dashed for the gun as soon as he was out of sight and picked it up. She held it cautiously, afraid that the mere possession of the weapon will kill her itself.

Still shaking, she slowly headed up the stairs, unsure of what sick additions may be added to the death game she suddenly found herself playing. Once she was at the top of the stairs, she headed straight towards the bathroom and kicked open the slightly ajar door. She pointed the gun in front of her, half expecting the man to shout “boo!” and kill her. When it proved empty, she let out a small sigh of relief, which was short lived as she heard a bump come from her bedroom.

Carefully, she approached her room and opened the door. After a quick glance, she saw that it was empty and that the window in here had been broken. She noticed a bit of blood on the floor before she heard another noise come from her personal bathroom. She gulped, and then she crept towards the door slowly. Once beside it, she pressed her ear to the door and she thought she could hear the faint sound of someone breathing. She slowly twisted the doorknob, careful not to make too much noise, and as she was opening it, a loud alarm rang out from inside the bathroom. She screamed, kicked the door open, and fired nine bullets into whatever appeared even remotely human in the bathroom.

Breath ragged, she let her arms drop and released the gun in her hand. It fell to the ground as she stared in horror at the sight that lay before her. Instead of the mysterious man that she expected to see, there, laying dead, was her husband. Bullet holes lined his body as he lay there motionless, the last bit of his life slowly seeping out of him and onto the floor. Mortified, she dropped to her knees and screamed.

“Jason! Why! Why! Wh-” She suddenly felt a hand over her mouth and something warm in her chest. Her eyes began to get hazy as she looked down, only to discover a blade protruding from her body. The man had tricked her into killing her husband and was now killing her.

He whispered into her ear, “A life for a life,” and proceeded to remove the blade from her body. The man stepped in front of her, and her eyes widened in horror as he removed his face mask and she saw who he was.

“I’ll see you in hell, Katherine.” the man said as he took out another pistol.

And he promptly put a bullet in his head.

Breakdown

Breakdown*

As soon as she walked in, she felt the tension in the air. Her parents always argued, but there was something different about today.

“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” She closed the front door and went straight to her room. She let her bookbag drop onto the ground, took off her bra, and headed towards the kitchen. “Hey mom. How was your day?” She asked as soon as she entered the kitchen. Her mother stood at the sink, the water running.

“It was fine. How was school, Katy?”

Katy grabbed a red apple and took a bite into it before she began to talk about how her english teacher gave her class a pop quiz, but her friend who had the class a period before her warned her. “…So I think I did pretty good, thanks to Amanda. Hey dad.” Katy said as her father walked into the room.

“Hi.” he mumbled before opening the fridge.

“Oh come on, she’s your daughter!” her mother suddenly shouted. Katy saw her lift her hands to her face before finally turning off the water. She turned around to face her husband, her eyes puffy, evidence that she had been crying.

“Goddammit, stop reading into every motherfucking thing that I say or do!” he shouted, slamming the fridge shut. Katy could feel her body start to tense up, fearful of the yelling. She didn’t leave though. Her parents always yelled at each other, and it was nothing new.

“Well shit, you just said you were going to leave us for crying out loud. What, did you think I’d just let you leave and we weren’t going to talk about it? You thought you were just going to leave Katy and I by ourselves in the middle of the night?” Katy’s mom folded her arms.

“No, Dammit! Stop trying to use her against me, Angela. You can’t make me stay here. I’m tired of you. I’m not the bad guy here. I’m tired of you hurting me!”

Katy sat at the island, confused. She could feel tears start to well up inside of her eyes. Suddenly, her mother started crying and reached behind her back.

“Nick…I love you. This is what I’ve always wanted. You, me, Katy. Us living in a nice house together, happy. It would hurt me if you left us all alone to fend for ourselves. If you left Nick, you’d take away all of our happiness.” Angela started to slowly approach Nick. “So instead of letting you leave us, I’ll keep the memory of you alive you son of a bitch!”

Angela lunged at her husband, slashing at him with the knife she produced from behind her back. Katy shrieked and fell out of her chair and landed hard on the ground. She stayed there, cowering in fear.

“Stop you psycho bitch!” Nick screamed as his wife slashed at him.

“Mom, please! Stop this!” Katy shouted in desperation.

Angela stopped. Then she kicked Nick in the groin, pushed him onto the ground, and began stabbing at his head and chest, screaming in between each and every single stab.

“This! Is! For! Never! Loving! Me! Like! You! Said! You! Would!” Heart pumping, Angela stabbed him one last time before leaving the knife buried inside of his neck. Blood was everywhere. The floor beneath her was covered in a thin layer of blood, the wooden cabinets stained red, blood staining the bottom of the fridge. Katy’s father lay dead, twelve stab wounds covering his body. Three in the face, seven in the chest, and two in the neck. There were at least twice as many cuts lining his body. Bloodied, Angela got up and walked toward her daughter. Petrified with fear, her daughter sat there on the ground and watched her mother approach her. She could see in her eyes that her mother was broken. Something deep inside of her had snapped, and there was no turning back.

Angela opened her arms and embraced Katy.

“It’s all going to be okay now. It’s all going to be okay.”

Katy sat there, unable to move. She listened to her mom say the same thing over and over again. “It’s all going to be okay.” Angela repeated it over and over again.

Even when she put her hands to her daughter’s throat. Even when Katy begged her to stop. Even as her daughter choked out that she hopes she rots in hell, Angela still said it. Even though Katy’s lifeless body sat before her and her husband lay dead only a few feet away from her, she kept saying it, “It’s all going to be okay.”

When the police finally arrived an hour and a half later, they found her there, still chanting the same phrase over and over again.

*All stories are my own unless otherwise stated.

Short Stories

I am a writer first and foremost, and I like to write poetry and short stories. I have a tumblr blog where most of my poetry is posted up, but I don’t really post my short stories anywhere. I write about any and everything, and sometimes my writing develops the characteristics of a story. I’ll start posting my short stories online Sundays at 6pm central timezone.* This means that I’ll have to write a new short story for you guys every week. I have a few that I am going to share with you all, but that list will be exhausted soon. Feel free to comment, like, and share my writing. I greatly appreciate it, and if you like my writing, your friends and family will too.

Until tomorrow, or next time, whichever comes first.

*If it doesn’t post at noon, then expect for it to come sometime shortly after. I once scheduled a post and it posted 7 minutes after the scueduled time.

Why I like writing

I’m not sure when I started writing, but I do have an early memory of some of my first bits of writing. I believe I was in second grade or third grade. My Cousin, Kentrae, loved to draw.* This is obvious, but I loved to write (and I still do). We all had our boyhood cartoon and game obsessions, but there were two in particular that my cousin and I really liked: Pokemon and Sonic. We decided that it’d be pretty cool if those two things were combined in order to make an awesome new story. What better people to create that story than ourselves?

Armed with printer paper, pencils, and out imagination, we made a little short story that made our thoughts reality. I don’t remember the name of our little story, and, sadly, I don’t have a copy of it, but I can tell you that I enjoyed that little experience. Writing for me, at first, was a way only a way to spill creativity onto the page as an intricate story to share with other people. I’m not sure when, but somewhere along the line writing began to change for me. I don’t remember reading poetry much, but I do remember that I started to write it either in sixth or seventh grade. At that point, writing was more than merely a story meant to entertain others. Writing was an elegant way of capturing emotions, thoughts, and images and trying to explain them in the most beautiful way to others.

For the next few years, that was what writing was for me: story-telling for entertainment, and poetry for emotions. Somewhere along the line the two began to blend together, and I discovered that I can express myself in ways different than poetry, and that story-telling doesn’t have to be for entertainment only. My Junior year of high school was when my writing began to take flight in another direction. I began to write non-fiction.

You see, up until that point, all of my writing really could only be classified as fiction. My poetry wasn’t exactly just emotions on the page, but rather, an embodiment of them, and so it counts as fiction as well. It wasn’t until I started being forced to write about things that I normally wouldn’t have in my AP Language and Composition class (Which I scored a 5 on for the AP test, the highest score) that I began to use writing as a way to express my thoughts, experiences, and my life in general. It’s around that time that I also began to get interested in the idea of blogging.

Writing became a way for me to simply analyze my thoughts and my life and the things that go on around me. In fact, I had always been writing like this my entire life. I just never put it to paper. All life really is is an ongoing narrative inside of my head. That’s all it ever has been, and that’s all it ever will be.

Alas, I never really addressed why I like writing. Plain and Simple, writing is a part of me that I can’t let go of. It began as a way to pass some time before becoming a hobby. Now? Writing is kind of a way of life. If I don’t write things out on paper, then I am writing in on mental papyrus that will forever stay with me until the day I day.

Until tomorrow, or next time, whichever comes first.

*In fact, his mother is a tattoo artist. I think it’s only natural.

Dreams

Before I begin, I want you to get into a very comfortable position. Comfy? Good. Now, close your eyes and think about the last dream you had. What do you see? What do you hear? Are there any smells? Do you remember what the dream was about? Was it a good dream, or a bad one? Once you’ve finished reflecting, go ahead and open your eyes and, with your dreamscape in mind, continue reading.

So I don’t quite remember my dream from last night, but I do remember what I was dreaming about from the other night, sort of. I was in a building of some sort, some type of headquarters I’ll assume. My memory of the dream begins when I rode to the top of the building to do a security check with my boss. I’m afraid of heights,* and I decided to make this known to my superior. He joked about it, and in my dream I was suddenly attacked with the memory of a nightmare I once had: being on top of a skyscraper with no way down. In there, I was forced to scale down the building if I wanted any chance of surviving. Surviving what? I don’t remember at all, but the terror was real.

Back to the current dream now, it started to get a little hazy. I remember more walking and talking, a hotel sweep, and me attempting to obtain my own firearm, which didn’t really sit too comfortably with me. The last thing I remember before waking up, struggling for my breath at 6:45am, was watching someone being crushed by a pair of enormous titans.** I didn’t think too much about my dream that day at all until I remembered the nightmare I had again. The memory of that bad dream was basically eradicated from my mind altogether. I had forgotten all about it until it invaded the dream I had the other night, but it also reminded me of something: all of my dreams are interconnected.

That’s right. There’s an entire world deep inside of my head, and it’s a place I can actually visit from time to time. Every last one of my dreams takes place in the same dreamscape.  Whenever I wake up, I can usually recall one or two details from my dream that I found in all of my other ones. This has been going on ever since the first nightmare I remembered when I was seven years old.*** Since then, I’ve always been interested in my subconscious world. I’d try every single night to make myself dream. Most nights I did, and when I discovered that I could even control my dreams (lucid dreaming), I was hooked. Each and every night presented the chance for me to go on an adventure.

Dreams are an amazing escape from the world inside of yourself. I’ve made it my mission to explore deep inside of my mind whenever I find myself with the opportunity to dream lucidly. Before I was plagued with insomnia, I discovered several methods on how to make myself dream every night, and also how to have lucid dreams. I haven’t had the state of mind to actively dream each and every night with a goal in mind, but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. Perhaps I will make a post at some point with tips on how to dream more in general. But, I believe I am done writing for the day.

If you have a really cool dream you’ve had recently, or simply would like to talk about a time you had a lucid dream, I encourage you to comment below!

* Really it’s edges that bother me, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s go with heights.
** From the anime “Attack on Titan”
*** I still remember it vividly

Are introductions even necessary?

So I’m a writer. I simply think that that* should be known. I write a lot of poetry and short stories, but I enjoy writing about anything really. I have a Tumblr blog (Scarlet City) where I post a lot of my poetry and writing. I’m not as active on there as I should be, but I am working on it. I made that freshman year of high school, and that was really my only attempt at blogging (which is really a huge fail…) So I’m not sure what I’m going to be blogging about here really, not yet anyway. I’ll be talking about me and my life and my random problems.** So, before I get distracted, let me tell you a few things about myself, things that will be added to an about me page later (maybe).

I am 17, I live in Chicago, I love to write (obviously), and it is now apparent that I enjoy the usage of parenthesis for side thoughts (because it helps me organize my main thoughts while saying all the little other unnecessary things I want to [like this]). I’ll be graduating from high school with come June, and that is exciting and also a bit scary. I have terrible vision. 20/200 + astigmatism in my left eye, and 20/70 in my right eye. A lot of my life I have lived without glasses. Thankfully, I have a new pair on right now. Let me be the first to tell you that it is nice to go to an event with a large amount of people and be able to actually make out the faces of individual people, as opposed to relying on color blurs and deductive reasoning to figure out who people are from a distance. My eyes really appreciated my glasses for my most recent trip to the house of blues. I have a 1 in 10 chance of developing schizophrenia (as opposed to the 1 in 100 chance the rest of you have). Also, very fun fact, I was born on mother’s day. Let it be known that my short term memory is horrid. I enjoy photography (though I need a new camera or phone with a better camera), playing piano (I’m self taught and play by ear), all types of music, technology in general (all things digital), and just enjoying all the little things in life. There’s a lot of other little things I can say, but then this post would be way too long, and I don’t want to scare you away. Eventually, it’ll all get mentioned.

I suppose this concludes my introduction. I’ll talk about a lot of random things that go on in my life, my thoughts, and whatever else crosses my mind, so do be prepared. Oh yeah, before I forget, If you visit my Tumblr blog, do know that I plan on updating it very soon. I’ll plug the link again down below my little footnotes. I’d appreciate it if you read what I have up there though.

*I enjoy saying  “That that” and “had had.” for some odd reason.
**My train of thought is weird sometimes. I just feel like that should be known.

And here is the Tumblr link: http://scarletcity.tumblr.com/