floating

self-sabotage solely so something
will happen. setting up mistakes
to escape since the souls I sew
with ink need stories worth telling.

what a better story than a tragedy
based on a true story; it’s just that
reality lacks all the tragedy needed
to drive a story toward a good climax.

better to leave the actual mistakes
up to the imagination. things are
usually much worst inside of our minds,
so I’ll share with you the fears in mine:

clandestine hobbies that wreak havoc
on unexpected versions of my future self
in the most inopportune of moments,
simply since that’s just the way life works.

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Photo by Jamakassi on Unsplash

We touched the stars

“At first, she never really wanted it.
she just went along with it because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time”

“But as I did everything fell into place
Just like our existence in this universe”

“So sudden– she wasn’t sure what to do with it.
she found herself in the middle of high school, deeply in love and obsessed with music”

“It consumed my days, my nights.
My life revolved around this burning passion,
But I could never chase my dreams”

“She thought dreams were just that: dreams that stay with the stars in the sky.
she didn’t want to crush my hopes by denying me the right to chase the stars,
but she would have never guessed that we would actually catch them”

1001 Fragments of Heaven: Half Life 0004

Suspended between this place we call reality,

and the sweet paradise in my mind.

Somehow…it’s even better here;

being allowed to indulge in the best of both worlds:

knowing I’m alive and well,

but not having to deal with the things that could go wrong;

perfectly at ease inside of my mind

without fear of unwanted nightmares

it’s here,

suspended between wakefulness

and unconsciousness,

that I find my serenity…

She was a dark star.

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(Astral Falls)

She was a dark star

I didn’t know you could break what’s
already broken. Demolishing my
scarce remains until not even
stardust was left.

I didn’t know you could be so cruel
to your lover. Screaming you
love me as you pushed the blade
straight through my heart.

I didn’t know you could distort
my world. Reinforcing my
insecurities by indulging in
all of my flaws.

I didn’t know I could love someone
like you. Such a vile creature you
were. I wonder how I never noticed it:
you never did shine

The tomorrow that will never come

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(Sunfall)

I often wonder to myself
if tomorrow will ever come.
if the sun will ever rise
and bring with it
a brighter future.

I’ve convinced myself that it will.
that I only have
to wait it out,
and that tomorrow will be
a better tomorrow.

I sit beside my window
waiting patiently for the day that,
somewhere deep inside,
I know no matter how long I wait,
will never come.

I pray, asking for that day to come soon,
not even realizing
every day I wait
is another day I let
the glorious future pass me by.